Tuesday, August 31, 2010

March group

My hubby told his friend the best place to go is a website called themarchgroup.net. The March Group has the experience and dedication to make sure their clients are represented in these important business matters. This is where he can learn more about the March Group and their expertise in assisting clients with mergers, acquisitions and other business related situations. The March Group is the first place my hubby suggests to anyone looking for help with big decisions involving their company. To learn more about March Group, check out this website and see how they can help you.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Uniform for nurses

Are you or someone you know is looking to buy nursing scrub uniforms? Then you should visit this website called blueskyscrubs.com. This website offers a wide variety of uniform for nurses to choose from. They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. A friend of mine is looking to buy some nursing scrub uniforms. She’s been to several stores already but she couldn’t find what she wanted.

I can’t wait to tell my friend about this website and what they have to offer. So if you or someone you know is looking to buy nursing uniforms or medical scrubs and uniforms, check out this website and see how they can help you.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

March Group

My hubby told me part of his company was up for sale and he was watching what they were going to do. He found out his company found a partner to help them with some key business decisions. The March Group helped his parent company decide what direction was best when looking at options such as a merger or acquisition. The March Group can also help with capital raising that will allow the company to make investments that will improve the position and overall profitability in the future. Having the March Group during these key transition times can assure companies they have a partner on their side with their best interest in mind.

Tit For Tat

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a
beer.
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
"ONE CENT!" exclaimed the guy; the barman replied, "Yes."
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"
"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." How much money?" inquires the guy. "4 cents", he replies. "FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy.
"Where's the Guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business."

Who's The Boss?

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss.

The brain said, "since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss."

The feet said, "since I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then I should be the boss."

The hands said, "since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss."

And so it went with the eyes, the heart, the lungs, and all the other parts of the body, each giving the reason why they should be the boss.

Finally, the asshole spoke up and said it was going to be the boss.

All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss. The asshole got so angry that he blocked himself off and refused to function.

Soon the brain was feverish and could barely think, the feet felt like lead weights and was almost too weak to drag the body anywhere, the eyes grew bleary, and the hands hung useless at the sides. All pleaded with the brain to let the asshole be declared the boss.

And so it happened; all the other parts did all the work and the asshole just bossed and passed out a lot of crap.

THE MORAL: You don't have to be a brain to be a boss, just an old asshole.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My brother and his new TV

Last week my brother told me that he was going to buy a new TV to replace their old one. He said they need to get the best TV for the money since they have a limited budget. I told him about a website my hubby found recently called dixons.co.uk. This is where my brother found some great tv deals for the size of TV he was looking for. They had a big tv sale going and my brother said the prices were lower than anywhere else he had been looking. They also have a lot of other kinds of popular electronics and all the major brand for all different types of products. The excellent inventory, wide selection and incredibly competitive pricing makes this one of our favorite places to shop. We have told several people about this website and they were all as impressed as we are with what they have to offer. They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. Their been in the business for years providing great customer service. So, check this out and see their great selection to choose from.

Advice From a Priest

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating.

"My son, you shouldn't be doing that", said the priest. "You should be saving that for when you get married."

The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply said "Yes, Father."

About 10 years later the priest was in his study when a young man, in his early twenties came in.

"Yes, my son?" said the priest.

"Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I'll never forget the advice you gave then."

"And what was that, my son?"

"Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I should be saving it for when I get married", said the young man.

"That sounds like something I probably would have said" said the priest.

"Did you take my advice?"

"Yes I did, Father; but there's only one problem."

"What's that, my son?"

"Well, I have a 55 gallon drum of the stuff in the back of my pickup truck. Now that I am getting married, what am I supposed to do with it?"

Finally got what we wanted

My hubby and I have been wanting to buy a new 50 inch tv for quite a while. We have looked at retail stores and have been close to make the purchase for one. Recently, we found a website called dixons.co.uk that really has a great selection of TVs and many other kinds of electronics. We found a great deal on a 50 inch plasma tv that we had to take advantage of. This is a great TV for the price and we are real excited to have the nice, big, sharp TV we have always wanted. This website has such a great selection of electronics and home products, that we will always check out this site before we go anywhere else. They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. Their been in the business for years providing great customer service. None of the retail stores come even close to their selection. Also, other website don’t have their wide variety and inventory to go along with their very competitive pricing. So, check this out and see their great selection to choose from.

Jacob and the Lotto

A guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the synagogue and begins to pray...........

"God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto".

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

Jacob goes back to the synagogue.....................

"God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".

Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!

Back to the synagogue..................

"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Jacob is confronted by the voice of GOD himself: "JACOB, MEET ME HALFWAY ON THIS ONE, BUY A BLOODY LOTTO TICKET!!!"

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Accident cover

No one ever wants to think about dying but it's important to have funeral cover or accident cover so your children or other family members will be prepared. A very inexpensive way to obtain quality funeral cover is to visit this place called guardian income insurance.

Funeral cover is promoted as a way to pay in advance for your funeral expenses so that your loved ones won't have to pay for your funeral. Many people use funeral insurance as a way to ensure their funeral is arranged and paid for in advance, so the burden isn't left to their families or beneficiaries.

A Wild Horse Ride

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves. As her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune... Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Diet and weight loss

It’s amazing how many people today are looking for ways to lose weight. I really didn’t have any problems with extra weight until I was pregnant with our first child. After she was born almost three years ago, I couldn’t lose the extra pounds I put on during my pregnancy. I tried to change my diet and exercise more, but I would eventually put back on the weight I lose with these special programs. That is until I found a really great website called weightlossfatloss.disastercover.com. This is where I learned about the keys to having a proper diet and weight loss that will come with eating smarter. Having this information makes it easier to plan my meals ahead of time and have a healthier diet and better preparation to what I will eat for the day. This makes it easier to eat the best foods for me that are healthy, taste good and help me control my weight the way I want to. Anyone looking to make positive changes in their diet to help them lose weight should visit this website to see why I like it so much. So, check this out and see how they can help you with your diet.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

TotalProtect Home Warranty

My hubby said he was worried about some of the things that could happen to our home that we are not covered for and could lead to costly repairs. I told him about a website I found called growfinancial.org. This is where we learned about their TotalProtect Home Warranty and how it would cover our home. Not having TotalProtect Home Warranty could cost us a lot of money if something unforeseen happened to our home in the future and we didn’t have the coverage we needed. This kind of coverage gives us the piece of mind we have been wanting for quite a while. I’m real happy I found this website for us to protect our home. To learn more about, TotalProtect Home Warranty, check out this website and see how they can help you.

Mother-In-Law

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.

"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. He proclaimed, "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter."

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother- in-law."

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Trent Jordan Vancouver

One of my best friends lives in the Pacific Northwest and she invited us to visit her later this year. We want to visit Vancouver since we will be in the area, so my friend told us to visit a website called trentjordan-vancouver.com. This is where Trent Jordan Vancouver shares his knowledge of the area which is very helpful for people visiting this popular destination. After reading about some great places to visit on the Trent Jordan Vancouver website, we decided to spend at least a couple of days in the area. The explanation of the great sites to visit by Trent Jordan Vancouver is unique because of the detailed insight he provides.

What Causes Arthritis?

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick, and he had a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis"?

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man.

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered and returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he said, turned to the man and apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis, Father, but I just read in the paper that the Pope has it."

Reputation Managers

With the internet being such an integral part of our everyday life for personal and business reasons, protecting ones reputation is more challenging than ever. It really takes an expert like we found at a website called reputationmanagers.com. This is where we learned about the expertise of the Reputation Managers and the different options they provide to protect the reputation of their clients. It can be a very difficult and challenging task for anyone to manage their own reputation properly and effectively. There are many personal or business reasons why somenone would put negative information that can harm a persons repuation. This best way to prevent this is to visit the Reputation Managers website to see what options meets your needs the best. The Reputation Managers have a proactive or reactive approach depending on the needs of their clients. Also, their Reputation Managers can provide a shield for future attacks from sources that want to damage the reputation of a person, business or a brand.These attacks can spread rapidly on the internet and in the arena of public information these days compared to the past. This can complicate the solutions needed to fix the bad information and prevent these problems in the future.

The Missionary

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home.

He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The missionary is pleased with the response.

They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them both.

The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

Indian Ride

A young woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An American
Indian on horseback soon came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the
horse and they rode off.

The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would shout out a wild "Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a-"
so loud that it echoed off the
surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, she expressed her thanks, and he
yelled a final "Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a!" and rode
off.

"Why was that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "I don't know. I just rode behind him
on the horse with my arms around his
waist and holding onto the saddle horn so that I wouldn't fall off," the woman answered.

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Marriage Made In Heaven

A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven.
St. Peter tells them that he'll do his best to work on it for them.

Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.

He says, "I'm still working on it."

Two years pass by and no marriage.

St. Peter again assures them that he's working on it.

Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it's time for their wedding.

The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce.

"Can you arrange it for us?" they ask.

St. Peter replies, "Are you kidding?! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?"